Do NOT Let Your Client Write Your Petition for a Writ of Certiorari
"Shipley basically let his client write his brief, and the thing turned into an utter shitshow. Witness the nightmare hellscape that is the question presented in this case …"
How to Spend Time with Non-Lawyers During the Holidays
Bitter Lawyer contributor Kate Lee may think it’s important not to give out legal advice during the holidays. I think her advice is equally good for not boring the crap out of your relatives with your anecdotes that non-lawyers don’t care about. Q: I saw this thing on TV that says: . . . it’s […]
Motions Unlikely to Be Granted
From Bitter Lawyer’s awesome new series of posts: 2 Motions Unlikely to Be Granted. One of these two is real, the other is wishful thinking. (I’m guessing this is the real one. —Ed.) If you’ve come across a hilarious motion — or there’s one you would really like to file — send it to Bitter […]
Law Schools Wish NALP Wasn’t So Accurate About the Job Market
Law schools think the Nat’l Assoc. of Legal Professionals is just being a Negative Nelly about the job market. Today in “You Have Got To Be Shitting Me” news: Law schools have requested that NALP put out a “more positive message” about the job market. James Leipold, who directs the National Association for Legal Professionals (NALP), said […]
Put Your Parenting in Writing
What if you treated your kids like your clients? This letter confirms our discussion yesterday afternoon. Per our conversation, you told me to “lay off” after I inquired about your grades. Notwithstanding the foregoing, I would appreciate your apprising me of your grades as soon as possible. Additionally, in the future please refrain from calling […]
“Lawyers and ethics — those are two words that don’t belong in the same sentence!”
I have so little tolerance for and interest in this joke that I wince in anticipation as soon as I see it start to spew out someone’s mouth. I never quite understand why as soon as reference is made to the legal profession, people immediately make jokes belittling it. I don’t mock any of the […]
A Tale of Two Oaths: Doctors vs. Lawyers
I recently had the privilege of being sworn in as licensed attorney. I was seated next to my brother, a medical doctor, who was blown away by how different my oath was from his. … The focus of the Hippocratic Oath is the patient; the focus of the lawyer’s oath is the lawyer himself. Read […]
7 Similarities Between Stand-Up Comedy and the Law
There is a long-standing connection between the legal profession and stand-up comedy, whether it be a lawyer who does stand-up, a stand-up who does lawyer jokes, or a lawyer who is a fan of the art. Lawyers who stop practicing to pursue the comedic arts are considered to be great outsiders, the exception to the […]
The Bottom Rung: Episode 6
From Bitter Lawyer: In document review, there are dreamers. And then there are those who can daydream. With their eyes open.
The 4th Tier Law School Kill List
Like the Obama Administration did for terrorists, Bitter Lawyer is assembling list of targets of opportunity — of 4th-tier law schools.
The Bottom Rung is Back: Episode 5
From Bitter Lawyer: There's a mole in the document review underworld and Dave, Frank, and Tim are on a mission to find it.
Clients Gone Wild: Episode 4
"I'm a doctor of law. I'm not here to teach you. You come to my university, you pay for it."
Clients Gone Wild, Episode 2
"I am the only person in your life that is f*cking up your world, and I enjoy it."
Depositions Gone Wild!
"You Don’t Speak for Anyone Here Except Yourself, F*ckface."
Should I Go to a State-Accredited Law School?
Will I be limiting my legal career graduating from a state-accredited law school?