- “Consequences. They sure suck, don’t they?”
- “Laws are arbitrary.”
- “I may have a law degree, but I think like a criminal.”
- “I make jail visits … because I’ll probably be there visiting my friends, anyway.”
- “You keep your trap shut, and I’ll keep your trap open.”
- “Did I mention I’m Jewish?” (Judging by Twitter, this is considered important by many people dealing with the criminal justice system.)
Daniel Muessig appears to be a real lawyer, although his Avvo profile is a bit unusual (if not nearly as good as Goat Lawyer’s).
In any case, the video doesn’t quite approach the production value of Jamie Casino’s epic Super Bowl ad, but it’s pretty awesome in its own right, with screaming eagles, tanks, dreidels, and more.