Dear fellow lawyers: everyone hates us, and sadly, Google searches prove it. All you need to do is take a look at some autocomplete suggestions to realize that people really like to spend a lot of time Googling about it. And when they are not hating on us, they are searching for some deeply odd stuff. Witness these five searches.
(Yes, these are all real).
Why Do Lawyers Do Anything, Really?
Really? The main thing people want to know about us is the wig thing? Can’t we even get a question about good old-fashioned American lawyers up there first? The pro bono part is not so bad, and the defending criminals part is to be expected. But the fact that people think we are all lying drunken Democrats seems a bit too much to bear.
People Are Very Concerned About Pet Ownership
Are you looking for a new line of business? Perhaps consider advising clients as to the laws regarding slightly exotic pets. Especially foxes. You probably cannot specialize in advising people about how to marry themselves, because we are pretty sure that is not actually a thing.
Why Are Lawyers So…
Well, this is exactly what we were expecting, isn’t it? We’re mean, arrogant, miserable, and costly jerks. But hey! At least we are important mean, arrogant, miserable, and costly jerks. We take serious umbrage, however, at the part about us being slow. Although we are probably a little delayed by all the time we spend being rude and evil.
We Hate Everything About Law
Lawyers, we are a deeply unhappy group of people. We hate our law school, our law firms, our law jobs, our degree, and even our classmates. Oh, of course we hate our classmates, current and past. The real question here is why we think that Googling it would help.
Googling The Basics Of Your Profession Leads To Regicide
First things first: is Google really where you should be going to learn to depose someone at this juncture in your career? Now that we have that out of the way: who knew there was such a burning curiosity about how to get rid of kings. Is this the 1500s?