Lawyers don’t often get an opportunity to really cut loose and say exactly what it is they (or their clients) are thinking. We couch everything in very neutral terms and our threats are often veiled. But apparently there are vanishingly rare occasions where the absurdity of the threatened legal action matches up nicely with the devil-may-care attitude of a client, and then you get the stuff of internet magic: the epic smackdown letter.
We all long to write one, but few of us ever will. Here are some of the best we’ve found. Some of these were ostensibly written by the clients themselves, but we are just going to pretend that some lawyer somewhere got to give the go-ahead to those as well.
The Hopasaurus Rex Fight
Steelhead Brewery in Oregon has a beer called the Hopasaurus Rex. Freetail Brewery in Texas has a brewing process that is, essentially, the dumping of even more hops in a beer, and they call that the Hopasaurus Rex. This apparently made Steelhead very sad, and they sent a cease-and-desist to Freetail, who responded directly rather than going through an attorney. Normally, we would advise against such a course of action, but since this response included a drawing of a T-Rex waving white flags in surrender, you can see why one would defer to one’s client.