Lawyers don’t often get an opportunity to really cut loose and say exactly what it is they (or their clients) are thinking. We couch everything in very neutral terms and our threats are often veiled. But apparently there are vanishingly rare occasions where the absurdity of the threatened legal action matches up nicely with the devil-may-care attitude of a client, and then you get the stuff of internet magic: the epic smackdown letter.

We all long to write one, but few of us ever will. Here are some of the best we’ve found. Some of these were ostensibly written by the clients themselves, but we are just going to pretend that some lawyer somewhere got to give the go-ahead to those as well.