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“Sure, go ahead and sue, it’s the new way to complain. But don’t expect to get any of the following out of the lawsuit: a full-time job, a part-time job, or a job at KFC.”
Seriously, there’s nothing like sitting across a deposition table from the gunners in your graduating class. Only they landed good jobs, and all you got was your name on a class action complaint that you filed from your parents’ basement. Woo-hoo!
Read I Want to Sue My Law School on Bitter Lawyer.
Are BigLaw partners the polar opposite of Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People? It sure seems like it.
Read The Seven Habits of Highly (In)effective Partners on Bitter Lawyer.
Maybe, but when you compete for jobs that are few and far between, employers are not generally willing to take a risk on a “lower-tier” candidate when they can just pick from, honestly, T1 grads who are in the same boat but with better grades and more impressive resumes. It’s the harsh reality, probably the same shitkicker that didn’t get you into a better school.
The biggest damages claim of all? $999 decillion. How much is that?
If one decillion (much less 239) dollars was divided among the Earth’s population, each person could receive a lump sum of 166 septillion dollars, or, without taking into account any annuity earnings, could receive 16 quintillion, 600 quadrillion dollars a year for one million years.
That doesn’t help, actually.
Here are your headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, where we LMAO smokers CMAO.
Cheating Isn’t Just for College Sports Teams. In the spirit of NCAA sanctions, the ABA slapped Villanova for padding the LSAT scores and average GPAs of incoming students. In its attempt to game the U.S. News rankings, Villanova avoided the specter of losing its ABA accreditation (the equivalent of the athletic “Death Penalty”), but must wear a badge of public shame: for two years, the school’s website must display a link to its public censure. At least there’s basketball.
Are you a law student looking for something to do with all your spare time? Good news, Bitter Lawyer is looking for law student contributors. If you are interested in contributing—especially if you think you are funny and/or a good writer—click the link below and fill out the form to let Greg (a/k/a the Bitter Editor) know.
Bitter Lawyer recently gave its intern a laptop and a dial-up modem and asked her to search through years of YouTube videos to find the best. The result? Our top five lawyer YouTube videos. While far from perfect, they are definitely full of VHS awesomeness. Enjoy.
For the past six years, I’ve been able to successfully block out the incredibly mortifying and traumatic memories associated with my performance during the merciless cage fight of OCI. But the recent mini-parade of second-round interviewees through the halls of my office triggered a flashback, thereby unearthing my long-buried recollections. So I figured I might as well confront the trauma head-on and hopefully put the pain to bed forever. But in the course of reliving all of the excruciating mistakes I made during OCI, I realized that there were actual lessons that could be gleaned from each of my missteps. Here they are:
Here are your headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, where we ensure that You. Shall. Not. Pass!
BigLaw Associates Overpaid? You Don’t Say! It seems that all that griping by associates about their awful work lives is finally finding an open ear –though perhaps not the one they’d want. A survey by American Lawyer confirmed that money does not seem to buy loyalty among associates.
In a new column, the Bitter Poet merges a deposition with Charles Bukowski’s Bad Times at the 3rd and Vermont Hotel. It’s definitely unique, and it’s either totally awesome or a travesty of poetry. Check it out and let us know.
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