Eliminating Nominalizations/Buried Verbs in Legal Writing

Except for passive voice, the use of nominalizations (a/k/a buried verbs) is perhaps the best sign of poor legal writing. Bryan Garner calls buried verbs “the sworn enemy of every serious writer,” and “an even more serious problem than passive voice” because invariably they “reflect muddy thinking.” Below, I discuss what nominalizations and buried verbs are, and how to eliminate them from your legal writing.

What are nominalizations/buried verbs?

Garner’s Modern American Usage defines nominalizations as “verbs that have been changed into nouns.” Garner’s The Winning Brief describes buried verbs in slightly more detail: “A ‘buried verb’ isn’t really a verb at all. It’s a noun created by a verb—the verb has been buried in the longer noun.”

Here are 30 nominalizations taken from Garner’s Legal Writing in Plain English, Garner on Language and Writing, and Garner’s Advanced Legal Writing & Editing seminar textbook, and the action verbs you should replace them with:

  1. in violation of — violate
  2. provide an illustration of — illustrate
  3. undertake the representation of — represent
  4. furnish an indemnification to — indemnify
  5. in mitigation of — mitigate
  6. conduct an examination of — examine
  7. make accommodation for — accommodate
  8. make provision for — provide for
  9. make a contribution — contribute
  10. provide a description of — describe
  11. submit an application — apply
  12. take into consideration — consider
  13. in preparation for — to prepare for
  14. have a discussion about — discuss
  15. conduct an examination of — examine
  16. provide responses — respond
  17. offer testimony — testify
  18. make inquiry — inquire
  19. provide assistance — assist
  20. place a limitation upon — limit
  21. provide protection to — protect
  22. reach a resolution — resolve
  23. reveal the identity of — identify
  24. bring an action against — sue
  25. makes mention of — states or says
  26. are in compliance with — comply
  27. draw a distinction — distinguish
  28. made allegations — alleged
  29. was in conformity with — conformed
  30. to effect settlement — settled

It’s clear that the bolded words above are preferred to the buried-verb phrases that precede them, yet frequently I see these buried-verb phrases in opposing briefs and some opinions, especially the favorite of many judges—in accordance with.

Why do we tend to use so many buried verbs?

So why do legal writers use so many nominalizations containing -ion words? The Winning Brief says we can blame Jeremy Bentham:

Why do lawyers like buried verbs so much? It might have to do with Jeremy Bentham, who wrote about what he dubbed the “noun-preferring principle.” Bentham thought that you should always choose a noun over a verb.

But there’s no reason to think that Bentham carried any particular weight on this point: he was probably describing an age-old lawyerly bias. As a group, we’ve historically preferred writing about static things—over people’s actions. And that should tell you something about why so much legal writing is as dull as it is.

Why should we get rid of nominalizations?

History aside, Garner’s Modern American Usage and Garner on Language and Writing say that there are four reasons why you should uncover buried verbs.

  1. Buried verbs are longer and have more syllables than the action verbs they replace.
  2. Uncovering buried verbs eliminates prepositions in the process.
  3. Uncovering buried verbs eliminates “be-verbs” by replacing them with action verbs.
  4. Uncovering buried verbs humanizes your prose by saying who does what, which sometimes is obscured by buried verbs.
  5. I’ll add a fifth: eliminating nominalizations reduces your brief word-count.

Not sold? Try these real-world examples.

Of course, it’s common for non-lawyers to use nominalizations and related wordy phrases. For example, at my parking garage there’s a sign that says: “In accordance with the Minnesota Clean Air Act, smoking is prohibited.” Striking the nominalization in accordance with, and changing the passive voice smoking is prohibited to active voice, we get: “The Minnesota Clean Air Act prohibits smoking.”

Or consider this example, which is an actual letter from an apartment-management company to its renters living in an upscale apartment complex:

It is time for our annual garage cleaning. In preparation for our freshen-up, please make sure your parking spaces are empty of any loose items by . . . .

As a reminder, the garage is not intended for storage of any items except for your vehicle. Should you need additional storage, please see the office as we do offer personal storage units.

Any loose items remain [sic] in the garage after . . . will be removed and disposed.

Clearly, this is a poorly written letter. Let’s remove the nominalizations, wordy phrases, and passive voice:

It’s time to clean the garage. To prepare to clean it, you must remove all loose items from your parking space by . . . .

Remember, you cannot store any items in your parking space except for your vehicle. If you need additional storage, please contact us about renting a personal-storage unit.

If you don’t remove the items from your parking space by . . . , management will throw them away.

This revised letter is shorter, clearer, and better.

The first and third sentences in the revision contain contractions, which, if used sparingly, are perfectly acceptable in legal writing, and even more acceptable in everyday writing. In the second sentence, To prepare to clean it is substituted for the nominalization in preparation for our freshen-up (is freshen-up even a word?). In the third sentence, the active voice you cannot store any items in your parking space is substituted for the passive voice/nominalization phrase the garage is not intended for storage of any items. In the fourth sentence, the typo is eliminated and the active voice is again substituted for the passive voice.

In short, nominalizations wreck the clarity and concision of legal writing. So clear up your muddy thinking, and take a hatchet to buried verbs. If you do, you will see an immediate improvement in your writing.

(photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kalavinka/4617897952/)

Lawyering Skills

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  • http://www.eriebusinesslaw.com/ Adam Williams

    The first sentence of this article is in passive voice, and I hate that I cannot tell whether that was intentional. I need a vacation.

    • http://www.linkedin.com/in/matthewsalzwedel Matthew Salzwedel

      Adam,

      I disagree that the phrase “the use of passive voice” is passive voice. Even if it is, passive voice is perfectly acceptable if “the actor is unimportant,” “when the focus of the passage is on the thing being acted upon,” or “when the passivive simply sounds better.” Garner. Modern American Usage 613 (3d ed. 2009). “The use of passive voice” satisfies all of these criteria. The focus is on “passive voice,” not any particular actor. Do you have a better way to rephrase the sentence?

      Matt

      • http://Lawyerist.com Andy Mergendahl

        I do: “Except for passive voice, nominalizations (buried verbs) are the best sign of poor legal writing.”

  • Bob brown

    how about “Using a passive voice” ?

  • http://legalofficeguru.com Deborah Savadra

    All the prepositions in these nominalizations remind me of the best editing book I know: Richard Lanham’s “Revising Prose.” The first four steps in his “Paramedic Method” do much of the work illustrated above:

    (1) Circle the prepositions.
    (2) Circle the “is” forms.
    (3) Ask, “Where’s the action?” “Who’s kicking who?” (Yes, he said who, not whom. On purpose.)
    (4) Put this central action in a simple active verb.

    How many “Motions for Leave to File Excess Pages” would be unnecessary if more lawyers could follow just those four rules? ;-)